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  • Writer's pictureAlex Ward

5 Ways to be more assertive.


Assertiveness is the ability to express your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and honest manner, while also respecting the rights and boundaries of others. It is important to distinguish assertiveness from aggression, as aggression involves imposing your will on others through force or intimidation. Assertiveness allows you to stand up for yourself and your beliefs, without trampling on the rights of others.

There are many situations in life where assertiveness can be helpful. For example, if you are in a meeting at work and disagree with a proposal being discussed, it is important to express your thoughts and concerns in a respectful and assertive manner. This allows you to contribute to the discussion and potentially influence the outcome, while also respecting the opinions and ideas of others.

On the other hand, there are also situations where assertiveness may not be appropriate. For example, if you are in a social setting and someone is telling a joke that you find offensive, it may not be appropriate to assertively interrupt and confront them. In this case, it may be more appropriate to simply remove yourself from the situation or express your discomfort to a trusted friend or confidant later.


So, how can you be more assertive in your everyday life? Here are a few tips and tricks:


  1. Know your rights and boundaries: It is important to have a clear understanding of what you are and are not willing to accept. This will help you to effectively communicate your boundaries to others and stand up for yourself when necessary.

  2. Use "I" statements: When expressing your thoughts and feelings, try to use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. For example, instead of saying "You are being unreasonable," try saying "I feel like this proposal is not feasible for the following reasons..." This helps to avoid placing blame or coming across as aggressive.

  3. Practice active listening: In order to effectively communicate, it is important to listen to the thoughts and feelings of others. This allows you to understand their perspective and respond in a way that is respectful and assertive.

  4. Be confident: It is important to believe in your own thoughts, feelings, and needs, and to express them in a confident manner. This does not mean being arrogant or overbearing, but rather speaking with conviction and clarity.

  5. Seek support: If you are struggling to assert yourself, it can be helpful to seek the support of a friend, mentor, or therapist. They can provide guidance and help you to develop the skills and confidence needed to effectively communicate your needs.


There have been numerous studies on the benefits of assertiveness. Research has shown that people who are assertive tend to have better relationships, experience less stress and anxiety, and are more successful in achieving their goals. So, if you want to improve your relationships and quality of life, consider working on your assertiveness skills.


If you would like some one on one training in confidence and assertiveness, I would be happy to help. FIND OUT MORE.





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